I don't want to talk about our last days...
I woke up in a fog this morning.
Eyes still puffy from the night before... chest heavy from all the weight it has taken on recently... When I know good and well I shouldn't keep allowing it to take on more.
I managed to get myself through the morning and into the school for our "party" in room 006.
That damn portable felt more like home than a damn portable most of the time.
This isn't the end.
You will still see them.
They will be okay.
You will be... okay.
There have been a lot of first days this year... and with a lot of firsts, come a lot of "lasts," and I don't like it!
I still have a hard time with change... probably always will.
This year I got close to a lot of kids in a short amount of time.
Some were already part of the family... others were sent my way cause Jesus and a few counselors agreed it would be good for all of us if we hung out some.
Monday - Friday I was in a school.
In classrooms, in the office, in safe, in the cafeteria, in the hallway...
More and more I grew accustomed to who and where I needed to be, and the kids did the same with me.
This morning I woke up in a fog.
I knew the last, last days were happening.
Preparation for the summer, and next fall, will be at the forefront of my world.
But this morning... I wanted to remember how this year felt.
How all of those firsts won't be like anything I experience again.
And how learning all that I have, not reaching specific goals I set for myself, don't measure up to or negate the fact that my family just got a lot bigger.
And the partnerships made will hopefully last beyond my time here.
I hugged. I cried. I screamed. I laughed.
I am thankful to be their Ms. Chloe.
No, I don't really want to talk about our last days...
Those haven't truly come yet... I won't let them.
