Not my will but Yours

My desk is covered in colored pens, work sheets, a bag of munchies (thanks mom!), a Pentateuch study guide and an essay question prompt for tomorrows exam at 7:35am. (Insert the look of sheer pain and horror as I prepare for my first real Jody O. exam.) Pushing my glasses up my nose like all the "nerds" I never wanted to be as a child, and wearing my Johnson sweats like a true college freshman. I have been reading over the book of Matthew for my Gospel Narratives class. When I came across Matthew chapter 19 verse 29. "And everyone who has left houses, or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life."

I wake up each morning with the same question resting on my lips. Daring God to show me why I am here. Because if I'm honest I still feel on the fence about this whole thing. And I want to be sure that this is what I am supposed to be doing. That I will learn, grow, and be challenged all while having the opportunity to love and be loved by this place and the people here. I think God has been waiting for this a long time. He knew that I would fight Him tooth and nail on getting here, and once I made it here the fight wouldn't be over. He has an answer every time. I can just see him shaking his head like "I have a million reasons for you to be here, leaving everyone you love and doing life with these people is just part of the process. I got all the time in the world (lol) Keep 'em coming child."

He has sent a thunderstorm, wind, people, service opportunities, new churches, crazy dreams becoming reality, and the most important, His word. Not once have I opened my bible since being here has it not provided another reason I am doing His will. Which brings me back to Matthew 19:29...

Those who leave everything for Christ will be rewarded 100 times more. That's me. And as hard as it was, and has been. Eternal life just seems to flipping awesome to pass up. I may not be the best Bible major student that comes through Johnson's doors, but you can sure as heck believe that I will rock the boat while here...

Not my will but Yours, Lord.