Not All Silence is Quiet

Sometimes the weight of silence is more comforting to me than all the trumpets as horns that heavens got. Yeah I love a good praise break, but when it comes to me and God, silence seems to be the one word description of our relationship. 

 

"Would you just listen to me!" He says. People make God out to be this super patient old man in a rocking chair just waiting for us to hear his voice. Let me tell you something. My Gods got a little bit of a temper! 

 

He doesn't yell at me though... Remember, silence is the key word here. But it's kind of like the silent treatment you'd give to your little sister when you were young. Like "until you realize what you did you don't get the privilege of talking to me" type stuff. God gets frustrated with me cause I know Him and still choose to avoid His word. 

There have been times when I finally break past the walls and barriers of noise and distraction and just sit. Which is hard cause I love the city, I love people and fellowship. I like to dance and listen to rap music way too loud. 

 

God can be found in those things, I'm not saying he can't. But I've made those things average. normal. they are not unique and I don't do them for The Lord too often. So if my God isn't average, why do I expect him to show up in my average actions? Mmm.... 

 

Now you know why He stays in the silent mode. I need to struggle with being uncomfortable for Him. To do things with him at the forefront of my mind, not somewhere deep in the dusty corner next to all my favorite Hunger Games quotes (which are coming back around more since Catching Fire comes out Nov. 22!!) ... But that's beside the point.
                                                                                                                                                           

I saw a quote the other day that said "Silence is the best response to a fool." Ouch. God knows I need help. Literally. I need Him to hold my hand through everything. Cause the moment I walk out on my own, putting my fingers in my ears, "I GOT THIS" I hear myself trying to convince the both of us... Yeah. Fool is right.

 

Our relationship is pretty hilarious. Like best friends we are competitive (I lose every time but his win is my win thank goodness!) sharing secrets during late night conversations, and there for each other no matter what. But I am really bad at this one cause I'm human and well ya know... he's GOD. I tend to roll my eyes when he nudges me, "yeah right." Often times he gets quiet because if he didn't he would just laugh... a lot. So I'm thankful for that.

 

I used to hate the silence, you could ask anyone, it drove me crazy. The feeling of not being wanted, ignored, or unable to hear the voice of God like I did a few times as a child really bothered me. Since the summer I've learned how important and valuable those small intimate moments with him are. He is screaming my name in reality. But the noise of  pure silence is louder to me than the bass in pops truck. Dang right?!

So here's to sipping my coffee a little longer in the mornings. Leaning in and really listening to what He has to tell me on these windy fall days. Writing down what gave me goose bumps that day, and what broke my heart. Spending more time immersed in his creation focused solely on him. And smiling more. Cause hey smiling just makes life better for everyone!