Flexibility

Have you every really regretted a deal you made with someone you thought was a good idea, maybe even an "I'll show them" sort of thing? Yeah me either...

The next phone call I get from Chicago will be a decision on whether they want me to take an internship there or not. With Knoxville, Lexington, and Chicago, all as options floating in the air - I am finding it hard to sift through others opinions, logistics, and the actual call He has for me. I should have asked for a magic compass at Christmas instead of an eno.

                                                            I am blessed. SO BLESSED.

So don't get me wrong. I just want to do the best thing, the good thing, the thing that will build His Kingdom up. But I also want to do the selfish thing, the easy thing, the thing that will build me up... and that is where I am willing to be honest. I am scared of what could happen, where these opportunities could lead me, and that they might lead me further away from MY future. MY dreams. MY goals. Some days I am extremely confident I know the answer. I know the next right move. Then the next day I turn in the complete opposite direction. I need to close my mouth and open my ears. And know that no ones feelings will be hurt. And if they are, they truly weren't part of the fam to begin with.

See, I've had this little blue print in my back pocket for quite sometime now... staying in the mountains after the degree isn't sketched on it... neither is a foreign place like Illinois. Then again, South America wasn't traced out in the corners or worn out folds either. Yet, as much as I love this little blue print - I've gained some more tools - and as any good builder knows... measurements change... the soon to be homeowners like a different styled bathroom than they originally drew up... AND the pipes almost always burst. Flexibility. That is the word I just wrote in sharpie on that little piece of a dream.

Like that deal I made in Chipotle that altered the blue print the first time. I had to understand that this is the building of a foundation, framework... I can't put a roof on without those things. But first.

Flexibility.