It all happened really fast... or slow? I can't fully remember.
But I know I was a mess. A ball of tears and angry at the world.
Sorry, let me back up for those of you who aren't aware that I'm about to make one of the biggest moves of my life this summer.
Currently finishing my Junior year with a double major in Bible & Theology and Intercultural Studies with a concentration in Urban Studies at Johnson University... and low key hoping to get a minor in Sports Ministry but that's just a dream.
Being an ICS major means I have to fulfill a minimum of 300 hours of field experience through a cross - cultural internship. Most of my peers will be spending the summer overseas since they're in ESL, Chinese, Missions, etc. I however get to stay in the states for mine since the whole goal for me is to serve as some sort of urban youth worker within inner city communities.
Whether that's here in Knoxville, back in Lexington, or wherever God says to go.
This summer that "wherever" just happens to be San Diego, California!
Pause
(Insert about 15 hours of crying spread over the last 3 and a half months)
I never said listening to God was easy.
Continue
I won't go into all the messy and chaotic details of how I thought I would be in Montgomery, Alabama this summer, or Harlem and that didn't happen.
Leaving the South won't be the hard part. Leaving these mountains or my sweet city that bleeds blue is always emotional, but my heart does entertain the adventure of new cities more often than not.
Leaving my family and friends... never ever easy, but I've been gone from them longer and farther than this before, and their support means so much to me in this.
I can't even write "leaving the kids" without crying.
"I'm not leaving"
I say it over a hundred times a day... to them, but mostly to myself.
3 months away from the ones I have spent almost every day with since last summer makes me want to just say it's not worth it.
But that would be the dumbest thing I could do.
I have to go, I need to go.
This will be one of the most life changing, influential, and greatest learning opportunities for me to experience while in college, and life as a whole!
I've been dreaming about Oakland and Compton since the 8th grade and now my chance to see the cities I've been dreaming of for 7 years will become reality. I get chills thinking about it.
I know it sounds crazy. Who loves cities they've never been to... especially "those cities."
Having the opportunity to serve and learn from some of the most seasoned urban ministry folks on the West Coast is something people like me can only wish for, and I get that opportunity for a whole summer. Making connections, relationships, starting to network for after graduation. This is a huge stepping stone for my future, education, and faith journey.
Faith
Seeking the peace of the city
Claiming what is better and not letting anyone take it from me
Knowing that sometimes heartbreak is really just you making room to love more people
This summer will look like serving the homeless in multiple different ways.
Loving and caring for refugees.
Food distribution to over 70,000 people a month.
Conferences. Training. Leading dozens of missions teams in our community.
Attending church at New Vision Christian Fellowship and forming relationships with my team.
After telling my parents and the kids I feel like I can breathe again. That doesn't mean the anxiousness is gone. Or the sadness about leaving them doesn't cloud my mind everyday. But I know that after 3 months I will return from a season of people pouring into me, teaching, training, and showing me what it's like to run a program in some of the most diverse cities in our country - filled and ready for another year in school and at Emerald Youth Foundation.
Better equipped for the work I love so much.
Three weeks from now I will see the Pacific Ocean for the first time. Some of the worst poverty and greatest wealth within a couple miles of each other in our country.
I just want to ask for prayer over this big move.
For travels. The summer programs I'll be part of. The team. My family and kids while I'm away.
And for me to have faith as I am still in the fundraising process.
P.S. I just googled it and I'm less than 20 minutes from In-N-Out.
Pray for my waistline while you're at it!!
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