See You Soon

I can't make any promises that when you read this or look at the pictures... you won't tear up a little. 

I know I did.

This is a picture of JoQuan and I at his 5th grade graduation. That was a huge day for him because he got the award for reading... two years before that, reading was the worst thing you could have asked him to do.

Tomorrow JoQuan will get on a greyhound bus and start a new chapter in his life. 

A sophomore in high school... I can feel years passed inside my soul. The good, the bad, the ugly. That is what we all signed up for. I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Even when the ugly means you gotta chase a kid down the street, loosing earrings along the way. 

Or tough phone calls. Or school meetings. Or nightmares... 

I want to believe this is the end of an ugly chapter, and the start of a really beautiful one.

 But only time will tell.

And that time apart, selfishly, feels like too much.

He is joy.

He is laughter.

He is the best friend you could ask for.

And even though he asked to be my boyfriend in the 3rd grade... he settled for little brother.

And we never looked back.

"If I wear this hoodie... it means you can't leave."

This was one of the last Urban Impact camps before I went to college.

Despite how hard those days preparing to leave were... 

I knew it was the right decsion, for myself, and for them.

JoQuan has told me he is prepared and ready for this next step. 

He knows what needs to happen in order to succeed and come back.

I don't know where the time went...

I tell stories about how your anger took over sometimes.

How your fists would ball up and you would roll your eyes and do everything in your power to not cry over little things... but big things had piled up... so you let them fall anyway.

I tell those stories because of how wild they seem now.

How light and life enter the room when you are there.

How you instigate and keep the peace all at the same time!

 If someone would have told me that the 3rd grader with a huge mouth, silly jokes, and skater boy style, would have turned out to be this young man below... I'm not sure I would be shocked... 

I think I would understand. I think part of me would be really proud, and part would be really sad. 

I probably would've said something like, 

"He's gonna go places... if he would get out of his own way." 

And he is doing just that.

Forever the Loves of my life.

Forever the reason I age 10 years every week.

Love you, J.

We'll see you soon.