Eno Truths

Today I am hanging between the two trees my friends helped me pick out yesterday. It was my first eno session of the year – with my own eno. After a freak 10 minute down pour we decided to continue on with our journey to the tree line past the field behind our school. Today is much cooler, breezy, full of sunshine and zero humidity. This is a spring lovers happy place. Today I am in love with this city. I am in love with my school. And I am in love with a God who is so much greater than myself. As the sun peaks through the limbs and glares off my laptop screen – I am here to write two papers – and accomplish the final assignments I have to get done this week before finals. Yet somehow all of that seems to melt away when I am here. Not in a procrastination way - if I wanted to procrastinate I could be asleep in my room. Instead this is breathing life back into a girl who is worn thin. Who has the feeling of being left in an empty room after graduation. A girl who honestly doesn't know what is to come next fall – where to call home. Where to make the next move with intention and care. Who are the “least of these” in her reach – and what can she do to share the gospel and meet needs in a way that isn't so "churched" and outlined. 
 
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Today I was charged with the trait of Compassion during Errosthe, that is a Greek word that sort of means you are moving on or leaving the chapter you are currently in for something new. The seniors charge underclassmen with the trait they were awarded and asked to continue that on throughout their time at Johnson and to whomever they come into contact with. Strangely enough I served on the committee for Errosthe and when I delivered the news to the seniors they had been chosen, I never imagined one of them charging me. I was honored, humbled, surprised, and yes, I did cry. I cried when I heard the seniors speak, and I cried after Margret held my hand to tell me she would not have chosen someone else. I share that not to boast or rub it in anyone's face – I am sharing it because of how much I value her as a person, how much this school actually means to me regardless of the bad days, and how I will not take this charge lightly. Today I found it easy to smile at those around me, and easy to mourn the lost and broken with those who asked me to. I don’t feel the need to complain about little things. But I must also note the sun is out today. Yesterday, and the days before that I had to play in the rain (only to lose my glasses)in order to find joy… but I found it... and my glasses too. I want to work my hardest at finding joy in life. To advocate for those that need a voice to represent them. I want to make decisions based off of Christ – not myself. But most of all I want to be the leader that was charged on the hard days. The days that freaking suck. The days where the work is piling up, the doubt is swimming around my head, the bills need paid, and the communication was poor. Compassion is not simply noticing that someone is hurting, but doing something about that hurt too. 

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In this past week alone I have learned a lot about myself. How brave I can actually be, how much I value Christ and his push for reconciliation. My own identity in Him - not in the urban girl I have so popularly become known as - at my own influence... I have learned that I can play in the rain 3 days in a row before I start to really go through sun withdraws. And on that third day the sun seems like my own sort of love affair - I can't get enough - and I hate when school calls me back to reality... if I can even call it such. I've learned that I can listen to the "hipster" station on Spotify for an hour before I need something else... like Kendrick. I fasted on purpose for like the second time in my whole life... that was weird. I am not sure if it did what it was supposed to if I am honest, but that is due to several other reasons. I think the next time I will fast it will be something social media or shoe related... I've learned that I have some of the coolest flipping professors on the planet and I go to a school I have a love hate relationship with - but that is no news to anyone. I tend to flirt with the line on a daily basis - constantly pushing the limits of what I can say in class or to others to make them think without getting a condescending look or reference to Dave's' office... I just have to be sure not to hit anyone again... still not that sorry ;) 

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I managed to steal my sister from her crazy busy life for 5 hours on Saturday. Praise God for her. As much as we see things differently I am just happy we share the same blood. I am debating on going home - LEXINGTON - before training starts... not that it matters to anyone reading this... but it's kind of a big deal to me to hug some little ones and kiss the bluegrass state I love goodbye for the summer begins. Passing these exams seems like it may be impossible... good thing I just taught a lesson on that at Emerald... haha God. Packing is such a far off feat to conquer I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about being an upperclassmen. I don't want to think about how difficult adapting to this place, a new home, new roommates, new routine, is about to be for a girl that spits change in the face if it's not prompted by her own doing. I honestly just want to look at all of those things and run in the complete opposite direction... but that would defeat my whole purpose of life... so yeah. 

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Calling on the Creator, wind, rain, sunshine, bare feet, new books, fresh pens, late night talks, adventures, mountains, street lights, cookies, good music, the farmers market, long summer night walks, and playing hours of street ball to motivate the next two weeks and get me through the next 3.5 months. Lets consider this a marathon and I am still in the pre-race work out phase. Come May 1st I will be crossing that starting point and I will be pressing on till the middle of August when a whole other adventure beings.

Ready... Set...

Live.