coffee conversations

I tend to do some really weird things in the name of the Lord. Like not drink coffee for nearly two months... That may not seem like a big deal to you. To some, it would be the end of the world, having to take your caffeine IV out of your arm! After some prayer and lots of "this won't impact me" self talks, I decided to remove the drug. Yeah. I said it. And my goodness did I feel different. I went from an "I got this" mentality, to a "why in the world did I ever start drinking coffee in the first place and WHY in the world did I choose to give it up?!" Oh yeah... HIM.

Much like illegal substances, alcohol, food, and you name it, can become an addiction, coffee can be the same. An idol of sorts. But we Christians don't like to admit that we are just as addicted to something that is running our lives and our wallets just as much, if not more, than the guy addicted to pills in our neighborhood... cause we aren't "that bad." And that's freaking stupid. As soon as we walk into our churches there are coffee stations, if not an actual coffee shop in the first few feet of the building! "Welcome to our church - where we praise God with one hand and hold our coffee mug in the other!" I'm not saying quit coffee or it's from the devil - I'm just telling you what I know in my own life, and the way it has affected me. I have an issue with idols other than the man who saved me from some dark ish. So I got rid of coffee. And with it - a lot of relational moments went out the door too. So I prayed some more to figure this out.

Much like my "past idols" I have learned what balance looks like, and not trying to control something on my own. Stepping away from something or someone until I get the okay in my heart that it is no longer an issue. Which brings me to why I had coffee tonight.

Coffee brings people together on a whole other level - young and old - coffee snob or not - that stuff gets people around a table daily. I was blessed with going to one of my favorite coffee shops in Knoxville tonight with someone I love to death. She is about to take a huge leap of faith and move to Belize for a good long while serving, growing, and learning, in so many different ways. She is a kindred spirit of mine, someone I look to for a perspective of endless joy, and a strong passion for the broken. Our conversations are always centered around Christ, our crazy beautiful urban kids, making big and little moves for Jesus, and just always leaning on each other in times of unrest and uncertainty.

I am thankful for coffee tonight because it provided the opportunity for me to catch up with someone I care deeply about. I am also thankful for a Tuesday that doesn't need me to be up at 6am cause this coffee has me wide awake! I don't anticipate drinking coffee again until the situation calls for it.

I am thankful for the lessons I have learned over the past few years while a cup of black liquid was in hand. I am thankful for the lessons that happened without it. I am thankful for conversations about drug dealers, and books that challenge us to have radical faith.

I am thankful for a June 1st thunderstorm. For walks in the city after it has rained, and all the street lights are reflecting at my feet. I am praising God for Mondays and for a pool our kids can learn to swim in. For an hour nap that I still can't believe left me feeling that rested. I am thankful for this past week and the things God is moving in my heart that I do not even understand yet. For the hard conversations and having to admit my own mistakes and swallow my pride. I am so thankful for my housemates who put up with me on the daily and eat the food I make even though it's real scary. I can go on and on. 

The praises never seem to end. I am filled only to be emptied again.

Kind of like a coffee mug.