Manicured Lawns & The First Day

I have re-entered the world of manicured lawns, matching houses, and people who pull into their garages before they say hello to their neighbors.

For a lot of people this is the dream.

This is the home they work hard to get all their lives.

It is safe, quiet, on the edge of the city, but still close enough to count.

This is not where I will stay.

This is where millennials both find their comfort and discontent with the world.

We sip our coffee prepared in our parents homes wondering how the hell anyone could have voted for that man, and plan our next rally to support some cause we seem appropriate to tweet about that day.

A lot of us ended up here post grad.

So many of my friends are writing a narrative that tells them it's okay we are here. 

"We didn't fail because we came back to a childhood home." 

"We didn't fail because our current form of employment seems vastly different

from what our student loans paid for."

What if I did get the dream job? 

What if I didn't marry in college?

What if I want to live in the neighborhood that sounds less like birds chipping and lawns being kept up and more like sirens and basses booming?

Should I feel bad for working 40+ hours a week as an urban youth worker like I always planned? 

I don't think my friends are failing.

I don't know why I am so blessed.

There are hard days and better days ahead.

My first day at The Lexington Leadership Foundation has come and gone.

It's really cool it fell on my little brothers 5th grade graduation because they share a career they want to be when they are older and I was just a few years older than him when I wrote mine down and told the world everyday after that what I wanted to be. 

"I want to be Mr. Marcus."

Eight years later, something even cooler happened.

I got to be Ms. Chloe.

If you know me or any part of this adventure I've been on for twenty-two years, you know how big of a deal that is, and why the tears come while writing that.

My team had already cleared a desk near all the windows.

Bought succulents and a big calendar.

Colored pens and bright folders.

They know me so well.

I learned a long time ago that there are a lot of things that won't go my way,

and a lot of things that will.

I've learned recently it's okay either way.

So for now, I'll live in the neighborhood with the matching houses, 

with the nice lawns and quiet neighbors.

Not considering it a fail.

But seeing what there is to learn from this community too.